is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
