Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
