At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
