Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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