This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
