In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
