I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
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I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
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Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize