He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
