If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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