Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
