just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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