my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
