Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..