Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
one two three fourrrrnication!
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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