Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it