I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
there was a trapeze. enough said
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
