New low: just hacked my moms facebook
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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