she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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