Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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