im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
