I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
