I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
