I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
