Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
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There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
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No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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