My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
