his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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