Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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