do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
The cops high fived after they tackled you
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
