that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
