did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
