Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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