You just made me feel so damn special
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
