she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
