It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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