This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
