What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i just made my gag reflex go away.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Your cock deserves a montage
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
