He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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