I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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