you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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