i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
