I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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