no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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