i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
