I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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