So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
