Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
