I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just invented taco cereal.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
