Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.

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(724): I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass. http://tfl.nu/otet

Replies (35) Good night (958) Bad night (8161)
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(416): View more from Ontario

dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening

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(416): dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening http://tfl.nu/ihge

Replies (12) Good night (7197) Bad night (696)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."

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(215): My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.." http://tfl.nu/yyzh

Replies (124) Good night (41498) Bad night (2967)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.

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(773): Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up. http://tfl.nu/ll85

Replies (7) Good night (6078) Bad night (1288)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian

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(503): Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian http://tfl.nu/9eu3

Replies (30) Good night (6923) Bad night (2896)
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(519): View more from Ontario

his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own

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(519): his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own http://tfl.nu/8vl5

Replies (11) Good night (1767) Bad night (3677)
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(217): View more from Illinois

I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.

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(217): I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it. http://tfl.nu/a4xo

Replies (10) Good night (1065) Bad night (1895)
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(773): View more from Illinois

I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.

(847): View more from Illinois

Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st

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(773): I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head. (847): Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st http://tfl.nu/ptod

Replies (6) Good night (3455) Bad night (976)
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(226): View more from Ontario

Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?

(226): View more from Ontario

Don't answer that. It is bad.

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(226): Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice? (226): Don't answer that. It is bad. http://tfl.nu/e65p

Replies (5) Good night (1291) Bad night (847)
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(310): View more from California

This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?

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(310): This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married? http://tfl.nu/80xb

Replies (3) Good night (1211) Bad night (519)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers

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(828): I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers http://tfl.nu/zoj5

Replies (0) Good night (553) Bad night (287)
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(360): View more from Washington

I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.

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(360): I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/531t

Replies (1) Good night (271) Bad night (478)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.

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(724): body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe. http://tfl.nu/fyq3

Replies (2) Good night (534) Bad night (266)
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(586): View more from Michigan

Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.

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(586): Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word. http://tfl.nu/jq00

Replies (5) Good night (577) Bad night (299)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.

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(615): my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything. http://tfl.nu/13l7

Replies (10) Good night (1098) Bad night (312)

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