just sent my roommate on a cheese run
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies