Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
