WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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