I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
