I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
