This girl is more easily done than said...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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