I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
