Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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