Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
