id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
