No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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