Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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