it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize