My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
