I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
