There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
