you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
When are your genitals available?
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