Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
