I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
