Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
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Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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